Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Month

This episode contains discussions of domestic and family violence that may be triggering to some listeners. If you or a loved one are struggling, know there there is help available:

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May marks Domestic and Family Violence Prevention Month in Australia. Each year in Australia, it’s estimated that 3.8 million Australians report experiencing physical and/or sexual family and domestic violence since the age of 15. The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare estimates that out of all Australians,

• 11.3% (2.2 million) had experienced violence from a partner (current or previous cohabiting)
• 5.9% (1.1 million) had experienced violence from a boyfriend, girlfriend or date
• 7.0% (1.4 million) had experienced violence from another family member (ABS 2023c).

58 women died from domestic homicide in 2023, and figures from the Australian Institute of Criminology indicate an alarming rise in domestic violence in recent years. Lili Greer, who runs the Tina Greer Project in honour of her late mother, believes that while observances such as Domestic and Family Violence Month have their place, it needs to be an every day discussion.

“It’s helpful for people who don’t live and breathe in these spaces and support people that may be impacted by these issues, and it also encourages more community involvement. However, it is something that needs to be every single day of the year and on the forefront, especially in terms of politics, of political leaders minds because unfortunately, it’s still a growing issue and we haven’t seen a decline in the number of deaths due to domestic and family violence, unfortunately, and it’s actually on the rise. So that indicates that it needs to be an everyday discussion.”

TuneFM spoke with Ms Greer about her work in the advocacy space for survivors of domestic violence, and what her hope is for the future. With statistics rising across the country, concern for the safety of women and children needs to be made a priority. Different kinds of violence and domestic abuse are beginning to be more widely known. As of 1 July 2024, coercive control – the act of repeatedly hurting (physically or otherwise), scaring, or isolating another person in order to control them – has been made a criminal offence in NSW. Coercive control is often a precursor to more extreme acts of violence. Ms Greer says that the introduction of coercive control laws is a step in the right direction.

But is this enough?

Researchers and advocates in this space say that a cultural shift is needed in order to prevent further domestic and family violence. Gender inequality is the number one driver of violence against women, and builds a society wherein that violence is tolerated. When the issue is systemic – that is, created and supported by the systems of society – top down change is needed. For Ms Greer, that means an urgent increase in funding for services, and a greater emphasis on the impacts and safety of children.

“I would like to see a real focus on children and the impact of witnessing and experiencing domestic and family violence and really funding appropriately specialist supports for children as well as adults who are victims of domestic and family violence because we can’t really progress if we’re not adequately supporting our current victim survivors through these issues.”

In addition to her advocacy work, Ms Greer has also written a children’s book, to help young kids who are experiencing or have experienced domestic and family violence to understand what is happening to them, and how they can seek help. Called “Why Elle Spoke Up” the children’s book draws on her lived experience to educate children on what love should look and feel like.

Support is available, through charities, organisations, and communities.

If you suspect a loved one is at risk, or experiencing domestic and family violence, speak up safely. You can refer them to the services linked above, and White Ribbon Australia has a collection of services available. The Queensland Government has suggestions for how to initiate a conversation with someone about domestic violence, and how you can help:

• Do they feel safe and trust you to talk to them?
• Are they alone and in a safe place? Could there be surveillance, and do you have enough time to talk?
• Ask questions that might help start a conversation – for example, explore what you have seen, heard, or felt.
• Believe what the person tells you. They are more likely to downplay DFV rather than exaggerate it. Many abusers are charming to others. What you see of their behaviour may be very different to their behaviour towards their partner, family member, or person they are caring for.
• Stand by them. It’s okay if they don’t want to talk. Express your concern and remind them DFV is never okay, and it’s not their fault. Reassure them that you will stand by them no matter what they choose to do and be ready to talk or help whenever they ask.
• Be supportive. Try not to offer advice or put the person under pressure. Knowing they are supported is very important. Make it clear that the person using DFV or controlling behaviour (coercive control) is responsible for their behaviour and not them. The person experiencing DFV cannot make a person stop being abusive, no matter how hard they try.
• Don’t judge. Do not tell them what to do but help them to explore options that are available. Avoid putting the person who is using violence or control down. This can make victim-survivors feel more isolated and judged and risks them not disclosing more.

“Domestic violence isn’t happening in the shadows. It’s happening everywhere. Unfortunately, it’s happening to every postcode, every ethnicity, every culture. It’s not based on income. It’s unfortunately a huge issue that happens to more people than we would expect, and I would encourage everyone to know the supports available to them.”